2021.09.20 20:16 ThrowRABlindSided21 UPDATE: Brother fathered a child during an affair, not sure what to do now
Here’s my original post: https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/comments/pp9brbrother_fathered_a_child_during_an_affair_not/
It’s been a really busy and interesting weekend. I guess I should start by thanking everyone who replied with helpful advice and different perspectives. Special thanks to ColdstreamCapple for a perspective similar to Penny’s.
Penny’s been visiting a friend of hers who’s going to a college not too far from us. I told her what I thought we should do and she agreed, so she drove back Friday night. On Saturday, I went to my parents’ house and picked up my father (he’s in his 70s). I wasn’t sure what to say, so just kept the car-talk to our normal subjects.
Once back at my house, I told him there was someone he needs to meet. I pointed out the window to Penny and my wife sitting on our back porch. He looked at her, then blinked, and his usually gruff expression changed. He had a little smile and his eyes were watering.
I’ve only seen my father cry once and that was at Greg’s memorial. I was a little shocked and asked him if he knew who she was.
“She’s Greg’s little girl,” he said. He let me know the backstory. When Penny’s mother married her husband, she contacted Greg about letting her husband adopt Penny. Greg, being the selfish guy he was, went to our father to tell him about his affair, Penny, and asked for his help to fight the adoption. My father laid into him, telling him that he owed that little girl a happy childhood and she wasn’t going to get that with Greg walking in and out of her life since he lived so far away, not to mention the damage he would do to his own marriage and family. It was my father who was behind Greg signing away his parental rights so Penny could be adopted by her stepdad.
When Penny met her grandfather, they hugged for a long time. Penny and my wife were a mess of tears. I wasn’t doing so well either. My father told her what he’d told me and Penny assured she had a wonderful childhood. I asked about introducing her to the rest of the family and told him I was worried about how they’d treat her. He just kind of huffed, then said not to worry about it.
I took him home and Penny rode along. He introduced her to my mother. I could tell her first reaction was anger, but he told her that Penny was his granddaughter and that was the end of it. When my father gets like this, there’s no arguing with him and my mother knows that. He called Greg’s widow and asked her to come over, that there was something important she needs to know.
SIL came over and my father told her everything. She was understandably hurt and angry. She cursed Greg and then sobbed in my mother’s arms. Penny said she was sorry but my father told her to never apologize. She did absolutely nothing wrong. He told SIL if she needed to be mad at someone,then to be angry with him. After a while, SIL was able to take Penny’s hands in hers, tell her that she was a beautiful girl and that she’s welcome in her home (that’s big around here). In the end, SIL took the news better than my mother did who I could still tell was irritated that proof was sitting in front of her that Greg wasn’t a saint.
Penny spent the night at our house. I was on and off the phone most of the night, filling in the blanks for a lot of family and friends as the story got around. Two of Greg’s kids dropped by to meet Penny. With my own kids there, I think Penny was a little overwhelmed. She now had five "cousins" (seems awkard to call Greg's kids her half-siblings for now) in her face asking all sorts of questions. She was smiling the whole time.
Sunday rolled around and we ended up back at my parents’ place for a family BBQ. Penny was the center of attention. From what I could tell, everyone was pretty much welcoming her to the family. There were a couple of sour faces in the bunch, but they kept their mouths shut.
My wife told me that SIL is still having a hard time knowing that Greg cheated on her right after she gave birth to their second child, but that she doesn’t blame Penny for any of it. My mother is mad at my father (he never told her about Greg's affair or the baby, but she’s been mad at him for decades for one thing or another.
I’m exhausted. As the designated worrier of the family, I think I’m worried-out for the rest of the year after this.
Thanks again, redditors. You helped out a lot more than you know.
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2021.09.20 20:16 reddit_feed_bot JackPosobiec: @SwordAndScale Poso got range son
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2021.09.20 20:16 trazodonerdt Which inanimate object are you emotionally attached to?
2021.09.20 20:16 Electricalhulu80817 Buy the dip
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2021.09.20 20:16 MFGunk Trying to come up with a style. Any crits?
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2021.09.20 20:16 Murky_Picture3555 [FS] [EU] Cartier Santos and Cartier Tank solo
Hi all. I'm selling a couple of my watches, which I got 4 months ago from Wu. they are in perfect conditions, both worn only an handful of time.
These are the Cartier Santos 35mm and the Cartier tank solo, both quartz as the original.
I'm selling them for 120 + shipping insured anywhere in EU.
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2021.09.20 20:16 MBucksfan2020 Study Space in top of Educational Sciences?
Hi all, I heard that there is a place to study on the top floor of the educational sciences building, however I am unsure if this is true or not.
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2021.09.20 20:16 thebitcoinpartybot bitcoin tech talk #258: people conform to systems
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2021.09.20 20:16 MarioMartinsen Never seen this.. All 64 Stocks on my watch list going red and only survivor is Lucid 😂
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2021.09.20 20:16 Dense-Description547 Can someone explain to me what I just saw !
I think the dream begin with me in a kind of pool with long line taking from corner to corner doing an intersection like an X, the line where made of some kind of bright transparent gelly, I even try to taste them because the lines looked made of gelly, they where lose in the water. Then I stepped from the pool and saw some kind of huge building (having chill's while typing this) the building was like a tower in front of his was a kind the steel structure monolith stand and reach the sky despite his thiness, then I saw the building it was huge and looked having a great value. And from his back i saw from the top some kind of cable or something making a complex geometric structure but it was so high and so strong u thought of the cable backing out from not falling, the structure that looked something like what we see in the intro the gardian of the Galaxy building like and what the ship try to make to block the enemy,bees hive looking design but it was so high a was in aww, realy like those cable or lines where in the same high we see a 747 plane from the ground but so thin that they locked visible from the ground, all that was above the sea and the view was simply beautiful I did a search and we call that a tensile structure, I found some big project but what Is saw like I said was seen from the ground like reaching commercial plane altitude, and it was visible and clear even with that great altitude. Means must be very big
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2021.09.20 20:16 PBMM_7145 Anything class specific that pairs well with the hunter in darkness?
2021.09.20 20:16 username-for-stuff Are these ready? First grow, bubba's gift. That's about the best magnification I could get with my phone
2021.09.20 20:16 Anto498w Chi è con me?
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2021.09.20 20:16 WillingPea6138 How to make your PPC (Pay-Per-Click) advertising campaigns more effective - Latest Digital Transformation Trends | Cloud News - Wire19
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2021.09.20 20:16 Away-Scale957 I don’t think I can do this any more…
Warning this might be a bit long & hopefully it’s not all over the place.
I F27 have been with my bf M28 for about 4 years now. We met on the job & while he wasn’t my type I fell for him after we developed a great friendship we would talk about anything & everything. A year & a half into our relationship we moved in together it was a breath of fresh clean air compared to my last relationship & best of all he treated my son like his own. No relationship is perfect by any means we had disagreements here & there but we rarely argued. He was my best friend & the good times out weighed the bad. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world & did my best to match his energy and often asked if there was anything I needed to work on as far as being a better girlfriend. He would tell me no everything was great & we are great. It wasn’t until we moved into a new place last fall that we began to bump heads more. He was unhappy with where he was financially & he became extremely irritable often taking out his anger on me picking arguments over ANYTHING I felt like I was walking on eggshells. He got a part time job and finally opened up to me about why he behaved the way he did & promised he would work on his anger. March of this year I had an accident I cut the tendon in my thumb and was unable to work for 12 weeks, the past 2 years I worked a good amount so I was able save a bit + maintain my portion of the bills without an issue. During this time I expressed interest in working for myself & eventually quitting my job (once I was making consistent income w/ my new venture). He was very supportive & encouraging until one day he came to me and told me he didn’t support the idea because “it’s different & not safe” & he grew up watching his mom work so that’s what he expected . I flat out told him I’m pursuing my dreams wether he supported me or not, in his head he thought I wanted to sit at home on my ass while he paid all the bills. He has a way of assuming instead of asking questions for clarifications so for the 20th time I went over my plans/goals in extreme detail, he then said he understood & truly supports + believes in me 🤔. One day he tried to initiate sex & I politely declined he instantly got pissed & went to the gym when he left for work he gave me the cold shoulder, while he’s at work he called me angrily asking while I denied him sex.”, I just told him I wasn’t in the mood & didn’t think it was that big of a deal. He proceeded to yell at the top of his lungs (at our place of work 🥴) about how close he is to stepping out & once he does there’s no turning back how he feels unappreciated, how he bought my ring so I would fuck him more & even that didn’t work but the biggest thing to me was when he said he’s helping me take of of my kid and isn’t getting shit(sex) in return for it. I’m very sensitive about my son besides his paternal grandmother I’m really all he has, I’ve never pushed my son on him or put him in any position to be responsible for him. Anything he did for my son I assumed it was out of love I take care of all my sons needs by myself. We do have sex but I guess it’s not enough for him as he wants it at least 4 times a week. I apologized & tried to explain to him that I was under the impression from a previous conversation that we would be focused on clearing our debt & that sex wasn’t really on my mind, also since I’m not on BC anymore (messed up my body/nerves) & the fact that he doesn’t like condoms we should really be careful since neither of us want to bring a child into the world at this point it wasn’t smart to be humping like rabbits no matter how good he was at pulling out. We eventually talked it out & he sort of apologized. Well Last week we found out I was pregnant & he’s basically in denial.
There’s a lot I left out because I didn’t want to make this super long but basically he’s terrible at communicating & makes assumptions rather than ask questions & goes straight to anger + yelling. he often randomly brings up things from years ago (no exaggeration) that I have said that we both laughed at and decide he felt disrespected & his excuse is he processes things slow. Now I feel stuck in situation with someone who constantly complains about his finances but priorities getting new video games rather than helping me buy food for the house or putting that money towards his debt.
If you read this whole thing thank you, not sure what I’m looking for maybe I just needed to vent but any questions, comments or advice please feel free to sound off.
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2021.09.20 20:16 WilliamBootman We're getting outjerked on the fucking beach boys sub
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2021.09.20 20:16 johnrock001 Most Popular Brown Haired Anime Boys - Anime Boy
Most Popular Brown Haired Anime Boys - Anime Boy - https://www.myanimeforlife.com/brown-haired-anime-boy/
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2021.09.20 20:16 xclnotorious Sorry not sorry
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2021.09.20 20:16 lobsterhamster1 Why is it so HARD TO DRAW???
2021.09.20 20:16 No_Dependent4663 Foresight CEO Letter to Shareholders
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2021.09.20 20:16 nakedisnatural Weatherman said this is probably the last hot day of the year.
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2021.09.20 20:16 _okkaaa okkaaa - ヒグラシ (Official Lyric Video)
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2021.09.20 20:16 Ralfop Useful Portable Handheld Steam Iron UPGRATED VERSION – Dual steamer and Iron. Produces a powerful and consistent steam. 2 in 1 for Flat hot and Hanging hot. Safer structure design to minimize leaking water. More sufficiently, and bursts strong hot steam swiftly, without water sputtering.
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2021.09.20 20:16 johanas25 The `Lead Quest Designer` from Witcher 3 is joining Riot for upcoming 'League of Legends’ MMO.
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